Sunday, December 12, 2010

welcome home

the alarm hasn't gone off

the newspaper hasn't come

neither has the milkman

nor has the bin collector

no morning tea to make

no water to store

no dresses to iron

no shoes to polish

no utensils to clear

no clothes for the machine

no brooming

no mopping

no aastha

no bloomberg

no aajtak of overnight

no to-do list

no deadlines to meet

no calls to take

no waiting customers

no boss to be

no boss to see

---

surrounded by a hundred tall deodars

carpetted by a thousand idle apple trees

few koels and meerkats

wild cats

occasional humming car passing by on the serpentile sleepy road

alone in 'the mamleshwar'

amidst cold winter winds of chindi

waiting for the warmth of the fresh sun

of what is

a monday for the world

but an eternal sunday for me

the morning hasn't started......

welcome home

dear life!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

"do you believe in reincarnation?"

"it's cold, isn't it!"

"o yes! freezing!"

"when is the party?"

"tonight!"

"who all are coming"

"all neighbourhood"

"what all has been ordered?"

"hot pizzas and momos and pakoras...."

"and what else?"

"who needs anything else when you and me are there! Ha,Ha......!!!"

"Ha!Ha!Ha!!!!!!!"

both Coke and Fanta had a hearty laugh!

and waited in the fridge

for the wonderful evening ahead!

---

evening came

and in came the guests

kids, elderly, ladies and gents...

all dressed superbly for the celebrations!

everyone was so happy and excited!

hundred lights were lit

and music was turned on!

in came the piping hot pizzas

followed by momos

and spicy pakoras...

but everyone was still missing something

"where is the coke?"

"where is the fanta?"

yeah! give me the chilled coke

and me fanta!!!

me too!!

we too!!!

coke and fanta in the fridge felt like kings!!!

desperately needed and immensely respected and loved!

cans of coke and fanta were taken out of the fridge

and taken in trays

amidst the party

and loud cheers!!!

it was so intoxicating for both heroes!!!

everyone rushed to have one

rapid fire opening of cans after cans sounded like 21 gun salute!

"Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers!"

and over a hundred lips kissed their cans and started gulping the first heavenly sip!!!

"Wonderrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfullllllllllllllll!"

everyone announced in chorus!

it was ecstatic for the duo!!!

and then everyone got busy.

a few ladies started discussing dresses

and some about their husbands

gents in the corner were discussing business

while those on the table were talking politics

the kids were dancing

while the elderly near the fireplace were talking philosophy

"do u believe in re-incarnation?" asked one elderly gentleman with golden locks!

"yeah, i do!" another replied.

coke and fanta were enjoying everything except the philosophical talk of the senior guys!

they neither liked fire nor the talk of philosophy!

the party kept going on

till the crescendo!!!

and then the party got over.

everyone said bye and started to leave.

all put down the empty cans

they were not excited about them anymore!

suddenly the cans felt like unwanted, ignored and immaterial!

it was heart-breaking!

it was too real to be true.

they just couldn't believe the turn of their luck

all in just over an hour!

"this is so unfair!"

"u can't treat us like this!" they yelled

but nobody seemed to listen!

they all left.

lights were turned off one by one

and music stopped abruptly.

the catering boy collected the cans

and...

and...

and...

threw them in the waste-bin

and closed the lid!

"it's so dark inside!"

"and so hot!"

saying this both went silent

and then the empty can asked his buddy

"do you believe in reincarnation?"

Friday, December 3, 2010

sugar cube

a man frantically searched the net for 3 days

to get the real email id of god.

finally, he got it!

he had his mail text ready.

he opened the 'compose' box,

pasted his message

and clicked on "sent".

god was online.

he opened the mail and read

"dear god,

i am very annoyed with you.

you threw me inside the cup of your universe

in the hot boiling coffee of life

like a sugar cube!

and mercilessly

stirred me violently

and randomly

and unpredictably

and non-stop

with the spoon of events and shocks!

consequently

i got dissolved

and finished

much before i had expected to stay on the shelf of life.

what was more shocking was that when i got completely dissolved

u stopped stirring and put aside the spoon of events!

were all storms in the cup of life created only for me?

i was used to sweaten

somebody's  coffee.

i wanted to live

but i have vanished without a trace!"

---

god smiled

and typed back

"my dear child,

it was not somebody's coffee

it was my cup of coffee!

i hand picked you for me.

you have not vanished

i sipped u, i drank you

now u are inside every pore of mine

intoxicating and charging me

looking thru my eyes

breathing thru me

living with me!!!"

coins in the pocket!

a man started meditating

on one leg

without eating

standing in ice cold water

in dead winter

in the open sky

at the setting of the sun!

minutes turned into an hour

hour passed after another!

his body started turning blue

his breaths became erratic

his nerve started sinking

but he withheld his vow!

---

despite hating such brazen acts,

god appeared.

just to save a life.

---

"Make the wish you want to!" He said

"give me money, o almighty!"

god waved his hand in thin air and produced

a gold pitcher full of gold coins.

"happy?" god asked

"somewhat. but i want more, o lord! what u have given will finish in a year"

god smiled and again waved his hand in air and produced

an elepant made of gold!

"enough, child?"

"huge! but this will finish in 10 years!"

god smiled much broader this time, closed his eyes

and produced a mountain of gold!

"hope this will be more than enough, son!"

"surely, god! surely! but pardon me, this too will finish in 100 years!"

---

"how much do you really want, child?" God asked curiously!

"enough to last for a lifetime!"

"then you should have first checked the length of your life, son!"

"oh yes, o yes. tell me that, God! tell me how long will i live?"

the man started sweating in that freezing cold!

---

god checked his diary

and then replied

"you will finish earlier than the coins in your pocket, son!"

too busy

suddenly rattan appeared in front of me

with folded hands and radiant face

and asked for keys of the new vehicle to be transported to rampur showroom

125 kms from shimla towards china.

---

vindi was sitting right in front of me

boasting about his daring mischieves and misadventures

---

95 year old sandhu uncle (grandfather of my earlier landlord)

so politely welcomed me into the house

when i went there to hand over the monthly rental

---

rajesh impressed me with his answers

and i immediately recommended him to my c.e.o.

to be recruited as finance executive

---

jerry barked at me when i went to himanshu's house

---

little did i realise that rattan was about to meet with an accident in 5 hours!

little did i realise that vindi's foot would have to be amputated 1 month after i last met him!

little did i realise that sandhu uncle would breathe his last that night!

little did i realise that rajesh would accidently kill someone and be jailed for life!

little did i realise that jerry would breathe his last by the next sunday!

---

we are always too busy to realize

that we may not be realizing

the must-be-realized!

disprin

year : 2040

place : punjab university canteen, chandigarh

present : a group of p.g. students

topic : how to counter stress

"i patch up with the problem and surrender" rohit, the flamboyant thinker of the class shot the first salvo! 

"my stress doesn't go till i take disprin" added sarita, "the doc"

"i use an ointment and get some relief" sarita's tail savita joined in

"i ask someone to massage my head instead" tina said, shruggin her shoulders

"i take a drink" thakur, the hardy boy, quipped

"i prefer coffee" gurjeet, the naturopath of the group, declared

"i listen to ghazals" said saloni, the voice of the class

"i try to work out a solution to the cause of the stress" pali, the practical announced

" i leave it alone, it leaves me alone soon" sukhi, the statesman stated

"i try some sleep" deepa, "the sleeper" of the class yawned!

"i do yoga" said yoginder, the yogi!

what do you do rudra?

suddenly 

heartbeats stopped

eyes turned

ears stood up

even students on the adjacent tables turned their heads

those playing table tennis stopped

timeout was taken in the chess game

everyone wanted to hear rudra's answer

rudra, true to her habit, was unconcerned by the attention

and uttered

"nothing is stressful, but a situation.............. i have philosophy.......my philosophy is my disprin"

for next 60 seconds nobody knew what had happened!!!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

bankruptcy

the year 2025 AD

class : IIIA

---

"what is the meaning of bankruptcy?" the teacher asked.

out of 30 students in the class only one hand shot up

that of little rudra!

teacher got nervous

she feared the creature's unpredictable answer!

"anyone else?" teacher provoked the class

no other hand popped up

either out of tiny rudra's fear

or for not actually knowing the answer.

"ok, rudra, tell me - what do you mean by bankruptcy?"

"teacher,

when you become a rich man from being a poor,

and then become richer and richer and richer,

but still, all you can think about is

what to buy with that money

all you can think about is gadgets and assets

and can't think beyond buying property or clothes or accessories

can't think beyond cars or shopping malls or toys

can't think anything except money and stuff money can buy

can't think anything except bank balance

when financial insecurity simply doesn't go away

and there seems nothing left in life except money and material

...that is bankruptcy

bankruptcy of ideas

thankyou!"

after saying it all in one breath

rudra sat down

with the entire class with mouth open in awe!

teacher took out her handkerchief and wiped the droplets from her forehead.