Wednesday, November 15, 2017

clocks of time

Einstein who gave us the theory of relativity when once asked "what is time" had replied "time is what clock measures". seemingly simple, this was a profound reply.

another definition of time suggests that time flows because things change or move relative to something or everything. if nothing moves or changes, time would be impossible to be measured.

time therefore is measurement of change against some scale.

an illusion further compounded and muddled by changes inside us.

we have grown and changed a lot since our birth. and how did we measure our "time" age? in years made of specific months made of certain numbers of days on the basis of some cycles disturbed by intermittent "adjustments" and "creeping unforeseen discrepancies"

how interesting that while cycles make us believe and suggest the illusion that the "same" time is repeating/revisiting/recurring again and again the fact is that "if time is measurement of change" we have come and gone very far from any" point of time.

seemingly similar times on cyclic notional calenders are just that.... similar but far from same. at best beautiful excuse to revisit what we don't want to let go.

the essence lies, therefore, in celebrating the essence of the event rather than its exactness.

all calenders are clocks differently engineered by brilliant minds of original thinking societies of independent cultures.

all clocks must be preserved, respected, enjoyed and explored.

Prof Saab's post is very provocative indeed.

Saturday, November 11, 2017

bag pack

(self talk) :
punjabi (or for that matter any mother tongue or native language) is, for the children of that soil, a bag pack, a guide map, binoculars, a pair of hunting shoes, a torch, a blank diary, a victorinox and a prayer.....to go out and explore the world.

mother tongue or native language is not a fence to keep us restricted and least so a squeezing one to push us back and deep inside.

punjabi (or any other language) is just a password for an entire culture, history and contours of life. and the beauty is that it opens both ways.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

this simple to be happy

if u have not run into problems in your recent life (except small routine ones) it is not because u had money, or that the problems got scared of the money u had. it was because of your habits, your life management. and, in most likelihood, because those were just your fears,insecurities, phobias,imagination gone wild.....therefore, it is a myth that u must have more and more and lot of money to ensure u don't run into problems in life. it is a phobia of fear of pain. unknown, often unbased, exaggerated, illogical
if those giant problems were to actually come someday and in those proportions, no amount of money might be able to help u. u might say that many of the life's difficulties can be taken care of......while u r right if u say that, actual amount u might need might be much less than the unlimited unknown amount u may be slogging lifelong unknowingly sacrificing everything on the way.
it is, therefore, of critical importance that u earn more and spend less. more earning means increasing your value addition and market worth and being paid accordingly without flogging or losing sleep (and smile) over this. less spending means saying no to anything which can be. the extent to increase in earning and extent to decrease in spending can be gauged with the 80/20 thumb rule......80% of the things and tasks and joys can be achieved and done with 20% (or say 40%,50%) of the money.......or 80% of the earning can be increased with 20% efforts....when this 80% comes at 50% cost or more u r stretching at the cost of quality of life.
quality life is all about finding that approximate sweet spot. anything less, and u r underdoing it, underachieving under-utilising yourself. anything more and u r missing the the very purpose for what u were doing it all.
unhappiness is caused because u seek guarantee of permanence of solution instead of solution. permanence is a mirage because life is a dynamic process. only your approach can be permanent. and that may be enough. rest is in god's hands and u should give him that much of space with love and obedience.

if u have not run into problems in your recent life (except small routine ones) it is not because u had money, or that the problems got scared of the money u had. it was because of your habits, your life management. and, in most likelihood, because those were just your fears,insecurities, phobias,imagination gone wild.....therefore, it is a myth that u must have more and more and lot of money to ensure u don't run into problems in life. it is a phobia of fear of pain. unknown, often unbased, exaggerated, illogical

if those giant problems were to actually come someday and in those proportions, no amount of money might be able to help u. u might say that many of the life's difficulties can be taken care of......while u r right if u say that, actual amount u might need might be much less than the unlimited unknown amount u may be slogging lifelong unknowingly sacrificing everything on the way.

it is, therefore, of critical importance that u earn more and spend less. more earning means increasing your value addition and market worth and being paid accordingly without flogging or losing sleep (and smile) over this. less spending means saying no to anything which can be. the extent to increase in earning and extent to decrease in spending can be gauged with the 80/20 thumb rule......80% of the things and tasks and joys can be achieved and done with 20% (or say 40%,50%) of the money.......or 80% of the earning can be increased with 20% efforts....when this 80% comes at 50% cost or more u r stretching at the cost of quality of life.

quality life is all about finding that approximate sweet spot. anything less, and u r underdoing it, underachieving under-utilising yourself. anything more and u r missing the the very purpose for what u were doing it all.

unhappiness is caused because u seek guarantee of permanence of solution instead of solution. permanence is a mirage because life is a dynamic process. only your approach can be permanent. and that may be enough. rest is in god's hands and u should give him that much of space with love and obedience.

let me share a simple example. having a smart phone is ok. but dumping one and coughing out more to upgrade to the one with wireless charging is a brutal example of stretching your life at the cost of quality.

while one can afford it as of now twenty around him may not despite feeling the psychological pressure to catch up

world around us is full of such examples.

to start with, if u begin to scrutinize and curb big ticket expenses, u would have made dramatic qualitative change to your life.

Saturday, May 27, 2017

wisdom of Guy Finley

- stress exists because u insist. reality has its own effortless course, and u can either embrace its way or struggle with yours.

- u need no power to flow!!! why push when u can ride?

- when a man abides in the way, his satisfactions are inexhaustible...

- once you understand that nothing real is threatening you, where is your need to anxiously protect yourself?

- once u know that u have already been given an independent, timeless identity, u need never worry again about making urself into someone.

- real power never seeks power.

- if u r seeking power u r under the power of that which has no power, and, regardless of appearances, u will become increasingly powerless.

- a crisis always precedes any real inner advancement.

- a crisis only becomes a breaking point when we fail to use it as a turning point.

- want what life wants....secret of an uncompromising power for effortless living....the only thing u will lose by learning to "want what life wants" is your fear of not being in control.

- unhappy feelings are born out of life failing to conform to your ideas of what you need to be happy.

- make a higher choice when it comes to what u really want from life

- if the want yields pain and anxiety, it is your's and not life's

- pull yourself out of the flood of self wants that promise a future pleasure but only deliver a present pain.

- just sit back, play ur game and enjoy everything.

- we have been trying to succeed with methods which must fail.

- we are tied to whatever we avoid

- any lingering sadness is an unnatural life form kept breathing by the false self's reluctance to let it go.

- if u could have, u would have

- suffering doesn't prove that u r important. what it does prove is u would rather feel like a "someone" who is miserable than be a "no one" who is free, suspended and quietly happy

- a willingness to pass through inner change enables us to see the vastness beyond our present position.

- u don't have to do anything about what tries to disturb u on ur journey. u must not do anything except stay in ur "car"

- u r not here to live upto anyone's expectations, including ur own...

Saturday, April 9, 2016

why people are not happy even when wealthy

why people are not happy even when wealthy

quality of life + standard of living = happiness

wealth=backup in months for maintaining standard of living

higher the standard of living=more is the wealth required for maintaining the standard

more the wealth required=more the wealth generating setup required

more the setup= more the risk, more the insecurity/fear, more the involvement/time/effort/energy=lesser the quality of life leading to further loss of happiness

lesser quality of life is attempted to be offset by higher standard of living which in-turn pushes you deeper in the vicious circle and farther from the quality of life

so, there is an optimum level of standard of living which demands just the right effort to maintain without eating into the quality of life.

having achieved the optimum level of "standard of living" in the equation

'quality of life + standard of living = happiness'

only quality of life remains

quality of life obviously has to do something with quality of everything in life and not quantity

otherwise we would be saying "quantity of life" and not "quality of life"

quantity is fixed. quality is a choice.

unhappiness despite being wealthy has got to do more with insecurity of losing the security of buffer wealth than the actual sufficiency of wealth.... it is a mental disorder which can be treated by a good psychologist, teacher or self thought

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

meet the man who died 7 years ago & is still alive!!!

and that man (or lady) is
the one in the mirror
.....you!

not just you
even myself
and everybody around
died 7 years ago!

not only that
we are all going to die
again
as we complete seven years since then!

well,
science says
that all our body cells
are dying
and getting replaced regularly.

cells of different organs
including skin and bones
are getting replaced
at varying speed.

but all in all
all body
gets replaced
in parts
once every seven years.

what does this tell us?
what implications does this info have?

simple....

why fear death
when we are already dying
when we are already dead
not just once
several times!!!

there is another interesting fact
which can be shared and added here

our brain has the capability
to remember and record
everything you have experienced or heard or seen or read.....
the only limitation is
that you can't recall it all
atleast so easily or voluntarily......
but it is all there
and likely to be there
even when brain cells gets replaced!!!

so our memory
is all that is going to remain
even while our body is getting replaced!!!

not just our own memory
our memories in the memories of others!!!

death
per se
becomes meaningless in light of the above facts.

physically
we are not
the person we were
seven years ago!

whom are we worrying for?

we are nothing
except memories.

we are alive
as long as our memories are alive
if not in our own body
then atleast
in the memories of someone!

stop worrying,
start living!!!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

since men and women still misunderstand each other.....


in his masterpiece
"men are from mars, women are from venus"
john gray
compared
women to waves
and men to rubber bands.

everyone goes through mood fluctuations.
both men as well as women
there is no exception.

but the difference lies
in the way men and women behave
during those mood fluctuations.

both men and women
behave differently.

as per john gray
when women go thru bad mood phase
they don't go away.
they stay put
and the mood fluctuation
shows up in waves.

i.e. women will express happiness when happy
and unhappiness when unhappy
there itself.
just like waves.
up or down...they are always there
in front of you.

they want to sort out
solve it all
bear and get thru it all
but without leaving the scene.

they don't like hiding their state of mind.
they want to express.

herein, lies the trouble.
women like to let it get expressed
but men fail to get the signal.

when men find women
always present
they assume and expect them
to behave same
and consistently
and predictably.

"yesterday she was ok, what has happened now?"
is what they ask themselves.

they see their line of movement
but they fail to see the lateral wave fluctuation.

--

and what about men?

as per john gray

men are totally different.

they are not like waves,
but like rubber bands.

when inevitable mood fluctuation
strikes
they leave the scene
and withdraw
go away
like a rubber band
to "sort it out".

they don't like to communicate.
they hate to be seen losing control.
they want to be left alone.

but that's not all.

when they feel better
and sense that they have sorted it out
they come back
with equal force
just like the rubber band.

but herein lies the trouble again.

when women see men retreating from the scene
instead of staying put
just like women do,
they feel suspicious.

they don't understand this "different" behaviour
and misunderstand.

--

in a nutshell,
men and women are different.

if only they understand that!

women are like waves and not rubber bands
and men are like rubber bands and not like waves.

both want to have a harmonious co-existence
but fail to do so
just because they don't see and acknowledge their different nature.

--

four situations can happen when men and women interact.

1. man is there (unstretched rubber band) and woman is on a high wave.
= life is like in heaven
= nothing can go wrong
= both are amused to recall why they ever fought.

2. man is away (stretched rubber band) and woman is on a high wave.
= man is down and frustrated and wants to be left alone.
= woman is left high but dry and hence angry. she just can't understand the man's behaviour.

3. man is there (unstretched rubber band) and woman is on a down wave.
= now when the man is there, he is perplexed to see the woman not interested.
= woman fails to notice the importance of the man's presence.
= man is frustrated and woman can't help.

4. man is away (unstretched rubber band) and woman is on a down wave.
= god save both of them.
= chances of collateral damage.....for no fault of each other.

----

if only both understand the anatomy
so that when the going is good
they enjoy it to the full.

and when the going for one or both of them is not so good
they recognise it
take it easy
and let it pass.

as per john gray,
when women are down
men should just hear them out.
just listen, and understand, but speak minimum.

and when men are down
women should just leave them alone after some words of love
and give them space.