Wednesday, September 27, 2017

this simple to be happy

if u have not run into problems in your recent life (except small routine ones) it is not because u had money, or that the problems got scared of the money u had. it was because of your habits, your life management. and, in most likelihood, because those were just your fears,insecurities, phobias,imagination gone wild.....therefore, it is a myth that u must have more and more and lot of money to ensure u don't run into problems in life. it is a phobia of fear of pain. unknown, often unbased, exaggerated, illogical
if those giant problems were to actually come someday and in those proportions, no amount of money might be able to help u. u might say that many of the life's difficulties can be taken care of......while u r right if u say that, actual amount u might need might be much less than the unlimited unknown amount u may be slogging lifelong unknowingly sacrificing everything on the way.
it is, therefore, of critical importance that u earn more and spend less. more earning means increasing your value addition and market worth and being paid accordingly without flogging or losing sleep (and smile) over this. less spending means saying no to anything which can be. the extent to increase in earning and extent to decrease in spending can be gauged with the 80/20 thumb rule......80% of the things and tasks and joys can be achieved and done with 20% (or say 40%,50%) of the money.......or 80% of the earning can be increased with 20% efforts....when this 80% comes at 50% cost or more u r stretching at the cost of quality of life.
quality life is all about finding that approximate sweet spot. anything less, and u r underdoing it, underachieving under-utilising yourself. anything more and u r missing the the very purpose for what u were doing it all.
unhappiness is caused because u seek guarantee of permanence of solution instead of solution. permanence is a mirage because life is a dynamic process. only your approach can be permanent. and that may be enough. rest is in god's hands and u should give him that much of space with love and obedience.

if u have not run into problems in your recent life (except small routine ones) it is not because u had money, or that the problems got scared of the money u had. it was because of your habits, your life management. and, in most likelihood, because those were just your fears,insecurities, phobias,imagination gone wild.....therefore, it is a myth that u must have more and more and lot of money to ensure u don't run into problems in life. it is a phobia of fear of pain. unknown, often unbased, exaggerated, illogical

if those giant problems were to actually come someday and in those proportions, no amount of money might be able to help u. u might say that many of the life's difficulties can be taken care of......while u r right if u say that, actual amount u might need might be much less than the unlimited unknown amount u may be slogging lifelong unknowingly sacrificing everything on the way.

it is, therefore, of critical importance that u earn more and spend less. more earning means increasing your value addition and market worth and being paid accordingly without flogging or losing sleep (and smile) over this. less spending means saying no to anything which can be. the extent to increase in earning and extent to decrease in spending can be gauged with the 80/20 thumb rule......80% of the things and tasks and joys can be achieved and done with 20% (or say 40%,50%) of the money.......or 80% of the earning can be increased with 20% efforts....when this 80% comes at 50% cost or more u r stretching at the cost of quality of life.

quality life is all about finding that approximate sweet spot. anything less, and u r underdoing it, underachieving under-utilising yourself. anything more and u r missing the the very purpose for what u were doing it all.

unhappiness is caused because u seek guarantee of permanence of solution instead of solution. permanence is a mirage because life is a dynamic process. only your approach can be permanent. and that may be enough. rest is in god's hands and u should give him that much of space with love and obedience.

let me share a simple example. having a smart phone is ok. but dumping one and coughing out more to upgrade to the one with wireless charging is a brutal example of stretching your life at the cost of quality.

while one can afford it as of now twenty around him may not despite feeling the psychological pressure to catch up

world around us is full of such examples.

to start with, if u begin to scrutinize and curb big ticket expenses, u would have made dramatic qualitative change to your life.

Saturday, May 27, 2017

wisdom of Guy Finley

- stress exists because u insist. reality has its own effortless course, and u can either embrace its way or struggle with yours.

- u need no power to flow!!! why push when u can ride?

- when a man abides in the way, his satisfactions are inexhaustible...

- once you understand that nothing real is threatening you, where is your need to anxiously protect yourself?

- once u know that u have already been given an independent, timeless identity, u need never worry again about making urself into someone.

- real power never seeks power.

- if u r seeking power u r under the power of that which has no power, and, regardless of appearances, u will become increasingly powerless.

- a crisis always precedes any real inner advancement.

- a crisis only becomes a breaking point when we fail to use it as a turning point.

- want what life wants....secret of an uncompromising power for effortless living....the only thing u will lose by learning to "want what life wants" is your fear of not being in control.

- unhappy feelings are born out of life failing to conform to your ideas of what you need to be happy.

- make a higher choice when it comes to what u really want from life

- if the want yields pain and anxiety, it is your's and not life's

- pull yourself out of the flood of self wants that promise a future pleasure but only deliver a present pain.

- just sit back, play ur game and enjoy everything.

- we have been trying to succeed with methods which must fail.

- we are tied to whatever we avoid

- any lingering sadness is an unnatural life form kept breathing by the false self's reluctance to let it go.

- if u could have, u would have

- suffering doesn't prove that u r important. what it does prove is u would rather feel like a "someone" who is miserable than be a "no one" who is free, suspended and quietly happy

- a willingness to pass through inner change enables us to see the vastness beyond our present position.

- u don't have to do anything about what tries to disturb u on ur journey. u must not do anything except stay in ur "car"

- u r not here to live upto anyone's expectations, including ur own...

Saturday, April 9, 2016

why people are not happy even when wealthy

why people are not happy even when wealthy

quality of life + standard of living = happiness

wealth=backup in months for maintaining standard of living

higher the standard of living=more is the wealth required for maintaining the standard

more the wealth required=more the wealth generating setup required

more the setup= more the risk, more the insecurity/fear, more the involvement/time/effort/energy=lesser the quality of life leading to further loss of happiness

lesser quality of life is attempted to be offset by higher standard of living which in-turn pushes you deeper in the vicious circle and farther from the quality of life

so, there is an optimum level of standard of living which demands just the right effort to maintain without eating into the quality of life.

having achieved the optimum level of "standard of living" in the equation

'quality of life + standard of living = happiness'

only quality of life remains

quality of life obviously has to do something with quality of everything in life and not quantity

otherwise we would be saying "quantity of life" and not "quality of life"

quantity is fixed. quality is a choice.

unhappiness despite being wealthy has got to do more with insecurity of losing the security of buffer wealth than the actual sufficiency of wealth.... it is a mental disorder which can be treated by a good psychologist, teacher or self thought

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

meet the man who died 7 years ago & is still alive!!!

and that man (or lady) is
the one in the mirror
.....you!

not just you
even myself
and everybody around
died 7 years ago!

not only that
we are all going to die
again
as we complete seven years since then!

well,
science says
that all our body cells
are dying
and getting replaced regularly.

cells of different organs
including skin and bones
are getting replaced
at varying speed.

but all in all
all body
gets replaced
in parts
once every seven years.

what does this tell us?
what implications does this info have?

simple....

why fear death
when we are already dying
when we are already dead
not just once
several times!!!

there is another interesting fact
which can be shared and added here

our brain has the capability
to remember and record
everything you have experienced or heard or seen or read.....
the only limitation is
that you can't recall it all
atleast so easily or voluntarily......
but it is all there
and likely to be there
even when brain cells gets replaced!!!

so our memory
is all that is going to remain
even while our body is getting replaced!!!

not just our own memory
our memories in the memories of others!!!

death
per se
becomes meaningless in light of the above facts.

physically
we are not
the person we were
seven years ago!

whom are we worrying for?

we are nothing
except memories.

we are alive
as long as our memories are alive
if not in our own body
then atleast
in the memories of someone!

stop worrying,
start living!!!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

since men and women still misunderstand each other.....


in his masterpiece
"men are from mars, women are from venus"
john gray
compared
women to waves
and men to rubber bands.

everyone goes through mood fluctuations.
both men as well as women
there is no exception.

but the difference lies
in the way men and women behave
during those mood fluctuations.

both men and women
behave differently.

as per john gray
when women go thru bad mood phase
they don't go away.
they stay put
and the mood fluctuation
shows up in waves.

i.e. women will express happiness when happy
and unhappiness when unhappy
there itself.
just like waves.
up or down...they are always there
in front of you.

they want to sort out
solve it all
bear and get thru it all
but without leaving the scene.

they don't like hiding their state of mind.
they want to express.

herein, lies the trouble.
women like to let it get expressed
but men fail to get the signal.

when men find women
always present
they assume and expect them
to behave same
and consistently
and predictably.

"yesterday she was ok, what has happened now?"
is what they ask themselves.

they see their line of movement
but they fail to see the lateral wave fluctuation.

--

and what about men?

as per john gray

men are totally different.

they are not like waves,
but like rubber bands.

when inevitable mood fluctuation
strikes
they leave the scene
and withdraw
go away
like a rubber band
to "sort it out".

they don't like to communicate.
they hate to be seen losing control.
they want to be left alone.

but that's not all.

when they feel better
and sense that they have sorted it out
they come back
with equal force
just like the rubber band.

but herein lies the trouble again.

when women see men retreating from the scene
instead of staying put
just like women do,
they feel suspicious.

they don't understand this "different" behaviour
and misunderstand.

--

in a nutshell,
men and women are different.

if only they understand that!

women are like waves and not rubber bands
and men are like rubber bands and not like waves.

both want to have a harmonious co-existence
but fail to do so
just because they don't see and acknowledge their different nature.

--

four situations can happen when men and women interact.

1. man is there (unstretched rubber band) and woman is on a high wave.
= life is like in heaven
= nothing can go wrong
= both are amused to recall why they ever fought.

2. man is away (stretched rubber band) and woman is on a high wave.
= man is down and frustrated and wants to be left alone.
= woman is left high but dry and hence angry. she just can't understand the man's behaviour.

3. man is there (unstretched rubber band) and woman is on a down wave.
= now when the man is there, he is perplexed to see the woman not interested.
= woman fails to notice the importance of the man's presence.
= man is frustrated and woman can't help.

4. man is away (unstretched rubber band) and woman is on a down wave.
= god save both of them.
= chances of collateral damage.....for no fault of each other.

----

if only both understand the anatomy
so that when the going is good
they enjoy it to the full.

and when the going for one or both of them is not so good
they recognise it
take it easy
and let it pass.

as per john gray,
when women are down
men should just hear them out.
just listen, and understand, but speak minimum.

and when men are down
women should just leave them alone after some words of love
and give them space.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

the secret of getting real rich!



u don't get rich by earning MORE.
u don't get rich even by saving more.

strange statements?
not really!

lets see why.

when you earn more
you spend more.

according to the corollary of parkinson's law

"spending will increase to match the increase in income."

try not spending more
while trying to earn more.

there is strong chance that
so much of negative energy will accumulate inside you
that you will blow it all up in one shot.

the mentality or motivation of "earning more"
is basically an emotionally driven state.

"earn more" is a "feel good state"

so, u r not "earning more"
if you are not "feeling like earning more"!

therein lies the paradox.

you don't and won't consider yourself rich
even if you become one
till you feel rich.

and how to feel rich after gaining the riches?
simple....by spending!

to feel equivalent rich
you have to spend
and wrap yourself
in equivalent comfort and luxury.

and the moment you do that
you slip back to the earlier financial state.

only difference,
this time you may be worse
having gathered debt!

so, it is pretty clear
- you don't get rich by "earning more"

but why do i say that
you can't get rich by saving more?

even this is simple.
the psychology of "saving more"
is rooted in the mentality of "starving"

mind is a dog which is most dangerous
if "starved"!

it is most obedient
if "tricked, trained and befooled!"

the more you "starve" your ego by "saving more"
the more the "feel good" state deteriorates.

and it all collapses
at the wrong time
burying you under!

so?

what's the way to become rich?
real rich?

keep doing what you do.
keep earning what you earn.
consciously keep improving and keep looking for opportunities to grow
but don't de desperate!

don't be conscious to "earn more" or "save more"

just ensure
that you don't waste anything.
all wastage in life
translates into money.

as you eliminate waste
you will realise your real needs.
this will surprise you further
when you will realise that you are much more satisfied and in abundance
than you always felt!
and when this feeling of abundance comes
you will feel better and better.

when this happens
you would have automatically
acquired the state of
feeling rich without having to spend
or without having to possess.

--

u don't get rich by earning MORE.
u don't get rich even by saving more.
u get rich
by wasting less and less
and in the process
unshackling and relieving
your income
from the drags of reckless consuming.

from here on
whatever you earn
will multiply!

and the funny part is
you won't feel the g-force
of becoming rich!

Monday, August 29, 2011

retired before 40

i once attended a seminar
where i was hypnotised and asked

"what are your big dreams in life?"

with a little effort
i listed them

big house
big car
world tour
fat bank balance
freedom to buy anything
long vacations
no need to be in a job
retirement at 40

--

i came back
and as hypnotised
wore the eye-blinders like a horse
and entered the rat race!

while i was moving forward
i met some rats
returning from where i was heading!

the look on their faces were not so inspiring.

i slowed down
and eventually stopped.

"how's the place u r returning from?"

the rat i talked to
didn't reply.

he handed me his walkman

i put on the headphones.

it was jagjit singh's voice

"patthar ke Khudaa patthar ke sanam
patthar ke hii insaaN paaye haiN
tum shahar-e-mohabbat kahate ho
ham jaan bachchaakar aaye haiN

but-khaanaa samajhate ho jisako
puuchcho na vahaaN kyaa haalat hai
ham log vahiiN se lauTe haiN
bas shukr karo lauT aaye haiN"

i quickly handed him back his walkman
and i became a runman
back!

back home
i took out that dream list
and made some changes.

house in place of big house
car in place of big car
mental balance in place of bank balance
'wisdom to buy what i need' in place of 'freedom to buy anything'
'living as if on vacations' in place of 'long vacations'
'loving and enjoying my job' instead of 'no need to be in a job'
'google earth and earthtv.com' in place of 'world tour'

i am yet to turn 40
and i am
truely retired!