Sunday, May 13, 2012

since men and women still misunderstand each other.....


in his masterpiece
"men are from mars, women are from venus"
john gray
compared
women to waves
and men to rubber bands.

everyone goes through mood fluctuations.
both men as well as women
there is no exception.

but the difference lies
in the way men and women behave
during those mood fluctuations.

both men and women
behave differently.

as per john gray
when women go thru bad mood phase
they don't go away.
they stay put
and the mood fluctuation
shows up in waves.

i.e. women will express happiness when happy
and unhappiness when unhappy
there itself.
just like waves.
up or down...they are always there
in front of you.

they want to sort out
solve it all
bear and get thru it all
but without leaving the scene.

they don't like hiding their state of mind.
they want to express.

herein, lies the trouble.
women like to let it get expressed
but men fail to get the signal.

when men find women
always present
they assume and expect them
to behave same
and consistently
and predictably.

"yesterday she was ok, what has happened now?"
is what they ask themselves.

they see their line of movement
but they fail to see the lateral wave fluctuation.

--

and what about men?

as per john gray

men are totally different.

they are not like waves,
but like rubber bands.

when inevitable mood fluctuation
strikes
they leave the scene
and withdraw
go away
like a rubber band
to "sort it out".

they don't like to communicate.
they hate to be seen losing control.
they want to be left alone.

but that's not all.

when they feel better
and sense that they have sorted it out
they come back
with equal force
just like the rubber band.

but herein lies the trouble again.

when women see men retreating from the scene
instead of staying put
just like women do,
they feel suspicious.

they don't understand this "different" behaviour
and misunderstand.

--

in a nutshell,
men and women are different.

if only they understand that!

women are like waves and not rubber bands
and men are like rubber bands and not like waves.

both want to have a harmonious co-existence
but fail to do so
just because they don't see and acknowledge their different nature.

--

four situations can happen when men and women interact.

1. man is there (unstretched rubber band) and woman is on a high wave.
= life is like in heaven
= nothing can go wrong
= both are amused to recall why they ever fought.

2. man is away (stretched rubber band) and woman is on a high wave.
= man is down and frustrated and wants to be left alone.
= woman is left high but dry and hence angry. she just can't understand the man's behaviour.

3. man is there (unstretched rubber band) and woman is on a down wave.
= now when the man is there, he is perplexed to see the woman not interested.
= woman fails to notice the importance of the man's presence.
= man is frustrated and woman can't help.

4. man is away (unstretched rubber band) and woman is on a down wave.
= god save both of them.
= chances of collateral damage.....for no fault of each other.

----

if only both understand the anatomy
so that when the going is good
they enjoy it to the full.

and when the going for one or both of them is not so good
they recognise it
take it easy
and let it pass.

as per john gray,
when women are down
men should just hear them out.
just listen, and understand, but speak minimum.

and when men are down
women should just leave them alone after some words of love
and give them space.